:: Find Saipan ::

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A taste of … Italy, America, Asian, I am not quite sure what they were going for here. Like many restaurants in Saipan, most are at a lost what type of restaurant they are. They try to cater to all types of people and tastes, in the end they fall short of becoming a good place to eat. Pierre’s sadly is no exception to that rule. Located in lobby section of Saipan Ocean View Hotel in Garapan, next to Bank of Guam. They advertise themselves as a burger, steak, and seafood restaurant of sort with a salad bar thrown in the side. The menu is typical of all local joints, they have a mix of Asian, American and somewhat Italian cuisine. A blend of taste that would even the most hard-core Iron chef fan unsettled.

Still lets go to the positive side of this establishments, the food is served in decent proportions, the price ranges from $7.95 to $9.95 USD in the average and comes with a salad bar. All dishes are meat dish or in some combinations of meats, ie beef/fish. I haven’t seen a vegetarian menu so I guess you folks are limited to the salad bar. The salad bar consists of a mix collection of normal vegetables you would find in any typical salad bar so no imagination there, but there is always two choices of watery soup. Normal complementary drinks is also available in the bar, ice tea, coffee and water. But do careful some menu items don’t include the bar, which also doesn’t include the complementary drinks. One day I had a craving for some waffles, you wouldn’t imagine waffles of something that should be hard to come by. (That’s another article on its own) So I ordered some waffles and got some coffee. Which tasted like it was frozen and just got reheated in a microwave. Since I got both ice tea and a coffee from the bar to wash out the taste I got charge for both drinks. Which ended up a $12.00USD tab for one plan, stale waffles, one cup of coffee, and one cup unsweetened ice tea. Or I could have gotten a hamburger steak lunch for $9.95USD and had all the drinks and the salad bar I wanted. Dam you waffles!!!

Now, how I really rate a restaurant is not from food portions, food quality, food price, or even the service quality. I believe that there is a direct coalition between how well the restaurant is run and manage and how well the restaurant’s bathroom is kept. Meaning if they don’t really care about the same bathroom the staff and management uses, they are not going to really care that much about the food they serve to a complete strangers. I know its harsh but there is a grain of truth into that. This also assumes that there isn’t a private staff only bathrooms located on the premises, which most places do that have.

So lets look at the restroom facilities in Pierre’s, of course men’s side. Typical two stall and two urinals is what you are faced with in this compact room. Not so typical is that one urinal and one bathroom stall has been out of order for the better part of last year and all this year. Still, unlike other restaurant restrooms, there is a large helping of paper towels sitting on the counter and there is soap in the soap dispenser. Sink is marble and the mirror is clean and over all the room is pleasant in feel and smell.

2/5 Stall (broken stall and the only available one was the handicap stall)
2/5 Urinals (broken stall and the fixtures were old and worn)
5/5 Wash center (clean neat and ample paper towels and soap)
4/5 Décor (old but there is a over all color theme)
4/5 Smell (neutral in smell)
3/5 Lighting (little to dark for my taste)

Over all score 6.67 out 10

PIERRE’S
Burgers Steak Seafood
Breakfast Lunch Dinner
Open 6:30AM ~ 9:30PM Tel: 233-3838

A hidden gem of Japanese Imperial Might!  Here we have Nikko-Ken, a traditional ramen shop, run by a real Japanese person!  Nikko-Ken is located behind DFS, across from the bus parking area.  Let me introduce to you the owner and head chef of Nikko-Ken, Mr. Noodle Nazi.  Mr. Noodle Nazi caters to the Japanese tourist, so that even in overseas travel, Japanese people can spare themselves from the horrors of experiencing local cuisine, bravo!  Mr. Noodle Nazi strives to keep his shop tight and clean, so that means no foreigners allowed (foreigners = non - Japanese.  Everyone knows Saipan is a colony of Japan.)  English menu?  HA!  What do you think this is, McDonalds?!  Expect portions to be politely sized.  No pigging out like uncouth barbarians!  For foreigners that do wish to brave the experience that is Nikko-Ken, be sure to bring a Japanese person along, to ensure that your food isn’t specially blessed.  Seating is thankfully limited to about 6 counter spaces and a table for 4.  Considering the time it takes to make an order, any more seating would mean dynastically long wait times. 

The food itself is probably the best Japanese ramen you can get on island; the noodles aren’t overcooked and soggy, the soup isn’t prepackaged crap, the toppings resemble something you can get from Japan…  If its not negative, it must be positive, right?  Flavor comes in a few different varieties, but missing the king of all Japanese ramen flavors:  the legendary Ton Kotsu flavor.  Hailed as the king of all ramen flavors, not even mighty Mr. Noodle Nazi can hope to put forth an offering of such epic flavor.  Able to stop a heart mid - beat, clog drains and arteries with ease, lubricate diamond saws and give enough calories to keep a polar bear alive for 2 months, Ton Kotsu is the miracle food that is illegal to export out of Japan.  Dubbed a national treasure and is responsible for the quick rise of the Japanese Empire after World War 2, only a select few foreigners have had the honor, nay, PRIVILIDGE, of tasting this secret treasure.  Alas, Mr. Noodle Nazi, in the interests of national security, may not even mention Ton Kotsu in his shop.  Should it be mentioned, espeically by a foreigner, an extraordinary ass beating will be in order.  Pray that Mr. Noodle Nazi is in a good mood.

Prices are clearly marked on the menu, and a meal of noodles will run about 9 dollars a head if you are local Japanese.  If you are a local foreigner, you can expect to pay double that.  If you are Japanese, and know the Emperor(may he reign forever)’s birthda and recite the Tale of Genji, you get the food for free.

Remember, if you are foreign, enjoying Japanese Ramen is a priviledge, not a right.