Nikko-Ken
A hidden gem of Japanese Imperial Might! Here we have Nikko-Ken, a traditional ramen shop, run by a real Japanese person! Nikko-Ken is located behind DFS, across from the bus parking area. Let me introduce to you the owner and head chef of Nikko-Ken, Mr. Noodle Nazi. Mr. Noodle Nazi caters to the Japanese tourist, so that even in overseas travel, Japanese people can spare themselves from the horrors of experiencing local cuisine, bravo! Mr. Noodle Nazi strives to keep his shop tight and clean, so that means no foreigners allowed (foreigners = non - Japanese. Everyone knows Saipan is a colony of Japan.) English menu? HA! What do you think this is, McDonalds?! Expect portions to be politely sized. No pigging out like uncouth barbarians! For foreigners that do wish to brave the experience that is Nikko-Ken, be sure to bring a Japanese person along, to ensure that your food isn’t specially blessed. Seating is thankfully limited to about 6 counter spaces and a table for 4. Considering the time it takes to make an order, any more seating would mean dynastically long wait times.
The food itself is probably the best Japanese ramen you can get on island; the noodles aren’t overcooked and soggy, the soup isn’t prepackaged crap, the toppings resemble something you can get from Japan… If its not negative, it must be positive, right? Flavor comes in a few different varieties, but missing the king of all Japanese ramen flavors: the legendary Ton Kotsu flavor. Hailed as the king of all ramen flavors, not even mighty Mr. Noodle Nazi can hope to put forth an offering of such epic flavor. Able to stop a heart mid - beat, clog drains and arteries with ease, lubricate diamond saws and give enough calories to keep a polar bear alive for 2 months, Ton Kotsu is the miracle food that is illegal to export out of Japan. Dubbed a national treasure and is responsible for the quick rise of the Japanese Empire after World War 2, only a select few foreigners have had the honor, nay, PRIVILIDGE, of tasting this secret treasure. Alas, Mr. Noodle Nazi, in the interests of national security, may not even mention Ton Kotsu in his shop. Should it be mentioned, espeically by a foreigner, an extraordinary ass beating will be in order. Pray that Mr. Noodle Nazi is in a good mood.
Prices are clearly marked on the menu, and a meal of noodles will run about 9 dollars a head if you are local Japanese. If you are a local foreigner, you can expect to pay double that. If you are Japanese, and know the Emperor(may he reign forever)’s birthda and recite the Tale of Genji, you get the food for free.
Remember, if you are foreign, enjoying Japanese Ramen is a priviledge, not a right.
